Baby Steps
by lightblue-Nymphadora
Summary: QW14 day 2. Quinn and Santana start their family. QuinnxSantana; Quinntana


_**LbN: QW14 day 2: Comfort/Fluff.**_

_The First Step…._

Santana and Quinn sat with the laptop open, screen already showing the subject of the day. Both were nervous, but for completely different reasons. Santana, because she was afraid Quinn wouldn't want to do this - and Quinn because she was terrified that she actually _did _want to.

"We can't just sit here staring at each other all day," she said gently after a while.

"Guess not," Santana agreed, laughing a little.

"Do you really want to do this?"

"Yeah. Do you?"

"I do." Quinn blushed and smiled when she saw Santana's happy grin. "I'm just...worried, I guess."

"About what Beth will think?"

"No. We've talked before. She understands about us wanting to have kids one day. But I'm worried that this is us just - I don't even know how to explain it."

"I do," Santana said. "You're worried that kids are just the logical next step for us, so we're taking it. You're worried that we're seeing our friends start families, so we're subconsciously pressuring ourselves into doing the same. Keeping up with the Joneses, with rugrats. I get it."

"Does that make me horrible?" Quinn asked, crawling over to Santana and snuggling close to her.

"No, it makes you smart and realistic - as always. But you don't have to worry. Ask me how I know."

"How do you know?" Quinn asked, smiling.

"Because I never got the 'Oooh, babies!' feeling seeing our friends' kids. Not in this way. When I really started thinking about starting our family was when Rachel was in the middle of the adoption process for Tianna. I was one of her character references. It got me thinking about what type of parents we'd be. So no - I know some people see kids as a status symbol or an accessory, but that's not us."

Quinn nodded and leaned over Santana to grab the laptop. She kissed her as she settled back onto the couch. "Okay. We're doing this?"

"We're doing this."

* * *

_The Next Step_

"Are they...serious?"

"This is the basic weeding out process," Quinn answered as she and Santana looked over the adoption application. Anyone too lazy or scared to fill this out, probably don't want them in the system anyway."

"True...but look at these questions!" Santana said. "I mean, I get it, but...do you think it hurts our chances that both of us were spanked when we were little?"

"No way. They're just going to want to know that we don't think getting locked in an attic for the day is a normal method of discipline."

Santana snorted. "Right, got it."

"San?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we...do you think I need to tell them about Beth on here?"

Santana, who'd been skimming the questions, stopped to think. "I'm not sure. I mean, technically we could put it in the bit about 'other children' but Beth doesn't live with us, and…."

"I'm not actually her mom. How about we call the agency before we submit this."

"I'm down for that plan."

* * *

_Three Steps Forward_

Santana was leaving the gym after her last training session. Her client, an uptight soccer mom with too much time on her hands, had wanted to talk forever after they'd worked out, so she'd be smack in the middle of traffic. Since she'd have to sit and wait any, she decided to do so in the parking lot. When she got to her car, she checked her phone. Seven messages from Quinn.

"Oh god, I'm in trouble," she groaned, speed dialing her voicemail.

"_Santana, I heard from the adoption agency! Call me back as soon as you get this!"_

"_Okay, I know you're at work, but seriously! It's good news!"_

"_Santana, I'm dying here! Of all the days for you to not obsessively check your phone!"_

"_Santanaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"_

By the last message, Santana was laughing hysterically. Reassured that Quinn was neither dying nor mad at her, she dialed her wife. "Q?"

"Oh my gosh, where have you been all day?" Quinn nearly screeched.

"At work, calm down," Santana answered, still laughing. "What happened? What did the agency say?"

"Twin boys! Out in Fort Collins!"

The world went fuzzy for Santana. Twin boys. She knew she should respond, but…. Twin boys. In Fort Collins. It was really happening. Twin. Boys.

"Santana?"

"Er," she squeaked, and cleared her throat. "Oh my god."

"I know, right!"

"Twin boys? How old?"

"Three."

"Do we know their names?"

"Kona and Kai."

"And...what happens now?"

"There's still a lot to do, but Troy said we're a great match for them, and as long as our home visits go okay, everything should progress smoothly."

It took all of Santana's willpower not to whoop into the phone. "I'll be home - damn, it's rush hour - I'll be home as soon as I can okay? Love you!"

"Love you too. Drive like you've got a baby to look forward to!"

"Or two," Santana said, grinning as she pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

_Two Steps Back_

"For the love of Tywin Lannister, Kurt, you do NOT get to decorate the kids' rooms!" Quinn said, fumbling with her house keys.

"_Come on! I could be out there this weekend!_"

"We already have a theme, a plan, and a method of execution. We're good, and I promise to send you pictures when it's done."

"_Fine," _Kurt whined. "_But I'm holding you to that picture promise. I have to go - Kendrick's outside building our new deck and he needs help."_

"Okay. Talk to you soon."

"_Toodles, Q!"_

Quinn finally got the door open and stepped into the house, dropping her bags by the coatrack. "Santana?" she called.

Santana came out of the kitchen. "Hey, I thought I heard the door open."

Immediately, Quinn knew something was up. "What's wrong?"

"I had a call from the agency today," Santana said wearily.

A little chill of fear stole over Quinn. "What happened?"

"Nothing yet. Come in and I'll explain."

Santana led the way into the living room, where the pair assumed their "We're about to have a not so fun talk" position of spooning on the couch.

"Kona and Kai's mom successfully completed rehab, and she's petitioning to get the boys back."

Quinn spun around in Santana's arms to face her. "You've got to be kidding!"

"No. Troy explained everything, and apparently this is going to take a while."

"But...she can't do that!" Quinn said desperately. "They were officially eligible for adoption - the court revoked all parental rights. Can she seriously just…?"

"She's appealing the court's decision. We can keep going with things on our end, like the home visits and stuff, but we're going to have to wait to see what the appeal brings up. Best case scenario, for us, is that we go through the next few months in a state of constant worry, and the court upholds their decision. Worst case, is that we go through the next few months the same way, and the court gives them back to her."

"But we've met them!" Quinn raged. "We've spent time with them! They know us! It's not fair," she trailed off, memories of her senior year flashing back to her. She wanted nothing more than to fly out to Cincinnati and hug both Shelby and Beth.

"I know. We just have to wait and see," Santana said, pulling her closer.

* * *

_Step Into the Light_

"I'm sure this is difficult for you, with everything that's going on."

Quinn smiled and said, "Incredibly. But we're trying to look at it as us continuing to move forward. "They haven't decided yet, so that just means we have more time to get everything in order on our end."

"How are you coping?" the social worker asked.

"This might sound a little strange, but we're trying to keep everything normal," Santana answered. "I mean, we've been talking about it and all, but really it's just a day by day thing. And we've both started going to church again."

"Oh really? That's lovely. A church community can be a wonderful support system. And of course, many people believe strongly in the power of prayer."

"It's not so much that," Quinn said. "We both...well, we were passing Calvary Baptist a couple of weeks ago, and it said the sermon that day was on forgiveness. We know they're an affirming church in terms of our lifestyle, so we popped in on a whim. We'd been dealing with...a lot of anger about this whole thing. Both of us. We both come from religious families, and have had good and bad experiences. But we thought it might help."

Sandra, the social worker, nodded. "I understand. Really, I do. I adopted my eldest daughter, and went through something similar. It's easy to hate the birth parents sometimes, or to judge them harshly - but the fact that you're recognizing that and working through it is a very good thing. Now, not to change the subject, but I do have a few other things we need to get to before your hour is up. How is your support system doing?"

For the first time in a few days, Quinn laughed.

"I'll take that as a positive," Sandra said.

"Well, Nana Judy is already looking up summer camps to send them to when they're school aged," Santana began. "Abuela, that's my grandmother, is planning a family reunion to welcome them to the fold this summer. My mom and dad are in a month long argument about what the boys will call them - because my mom outright refuses to be called 'Grandma' or any permeation thereof."

Sandra laughed at this.

"Then we have our friends," Quinn continued. "Kurt and Kendrick are itching to decorate the nursery and start buying sports equipment, respectively. Dave and Blaine want to throw a baby shower. Mercedes and her husband, Devon, both just want to know when they can come babysit. And Matt's already started buying toys."

"Goodness."

"We've tried to tell them not to get their hopes up, but it's not working. It's not really working with us, either," Santana added.

"Hang in there. You seem to have a great group around you."

* * *

_Stepping Forward_

Santana knew that in the coming years, she would forget about the details of that next month. She wouldn't remember what she and Quinn had worn each day, or the meals they'd had. She wouldn't remember the weather, or the books and toys the twins brought with them for the car ride. All she would remember were two things: the phone call, and fear.

The phone call was first, on Monday night. It had taken Santana and Quinn three rings to answer, because they were both nearly sick with worry. But all Troy had said was,

"_We're good! You can go ahead with the adoption."_

Well, that wasn't all he had said. Quinn had taken the phone and probed for details while Santana cried for a bit.

That was when the real fear had set in. The fear that something else would go wrong. But nothing had. And they were at the end of the process, other than the last bit of legal stuff. And, on October 29th, two days before the twins' birthday, Santana and Quinn had driven them home from Fort Collins.

As they carried their sleeping sons into the house, they both felt the fear melt away.


End file.
